How to spend a day cleaning your room
(if you're 12 years old)
0830: Wake up. Decide that it is too early to get out of bed, roll over, and go back to sleep.
1000: Wake up again. Get out of bed after rolling around for half an hour, groaning.
1040: Walk into dining room, plop onto chair and stare at wall for ten minutes. Ask for a really involved breakfast, including pancakes, smoothies and raspberries. Groan some more when request is denied. Read papers sitting on table for 20 minutes. Groan some more.
1100: Ask for brunch. Is Curry Ramen an appropriate brunch? With a smoothie, maybe? Groan when request is denied. Be sent to room to change into day clothes and to start picking up room mess.
1115: Sit on floor and read books you find under your bed. Find funny photographs of friends and cats. Bug everyone in house to look at your finds.
1130: Ask if it is time for lunch. Make ramen by pouring hot water over the noodles in a bowl. Consume. Complain that it didn't taste right (mostly because the noodles were not fully hydrated).
1200: Back to room. Blast radio. Turn on computer. Make new desktop pattern. Read more books found behind desk.
1330: Ask for snack, because you need a break. Groan when request is denied.
1345: Go into bathroom and play with hair for half an hour. Braid hair, unbraid hair.
1415: Scream when you find a blanket infested with fleas from the cat's favorite sleeping spot. Spend 15 minutes trying to catch a single flea. Yell across house for everyone to come see the gross thing you caught.
1430: Arrange animal figurines on shelf. This is hard work. Go into kitchen for a refreshing drink.
1500: Bug parental units. Ask incessant, irrelevant and inane questions over and over. Make animal noises. Stall for half an hour by plaing with cat.
1535: Throw out trash from room. Find lamp with burnt out light bulb. Spend 15 minutes trying to find the light bulbs. Experiment with different wattages. Ask if you can have the black light bulb. Whine when request is denied.
1630: Change radio station. Make new desktop pattern on computer.
1700: Kick remaining floor items under bed. Claim room is clean.